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Saturday, March 8th, 2008
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6:42 am - yesterday's count. real bad.
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yesterday started well. ended awful. ugh i hate the bar.
2 cups white rice: 484 5oz chicken : 231 steamed broccoli : 25 2 fried chicken tenders : 400 1 dozen bbq chicken wings : 800 maryland crab cake : 93 3 glasses chardonnay : 360
total for the day : 2393
yick. awful. it would've been 740 had i not hung out at the bar & ate & ate & ate. i hate myself.
current mood: crushed
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(comment on this)
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| Friday, March 7th, 2008
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11:43 am - lost 7.5lbs :)
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i stepped on the scale this morning and i lost 7.5lbs. so nice. i joined a community and i am very excited. especially since my calories were a bit on the higher side.
March 5th pinapple : 120 cals 9oz ahi tuna: 331 6oz filet mignon : 329 steamed veggies: 50 strawberries : 53 chicken sandwich: 420 Total: 1,303 calories for the day
March 6th 7 trisciuts? : 120 cals 7 multigrain pretzels: 120 cals 1 cup white rice : 267 1 cup broccoli : 55 cals 9oz ahi tuna: 331 handful of pinenuts: 11 cals total for the day : 904 cals
i'm joining the gym now. planet fitness here i come.
think thin. think thin. think thin.
current mood: chipper
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| Tuesday, March 4th, 2008
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3:45 am - just an add
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i got a ticker to clock my weight. when i reach my goal i'm am going to get the tattoo i've been looking at getting. a lotus flower, going all the way from my lower back, weaving up the right side of my back & rib cage & then ending on my right shoulderblade. it'll be amazing.
lotus flowers symbol rebirth & that's exactly what i'll be when i reach my goal, reborn.
current mood: satisfied
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3:19 am - ...
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life is too hard right now.
i'm going back to my old ways. i have to. i've ballooned to 184 from my original skinny weight of 103. i cannot and will not have that. it's time to get back on track. it's time to be thin again. i need to be thin, everything else in my life is so crazy right now. i messed up high school, and my twin sister is fucking bipolar. sometimes i think i am. my mom drinks all the time and refuses to get help, so if she doesn't have to recover, neither do i. i just want to be thin and attractive and athletic and smart again. and i know that this is the way to do it. when i was thin my entire life was in control, i need that back. i need structure, and i need help. i'm going to join a community like i did last time. i have to figure things out for me, make things work for me, and i know i can do it. support is all i need. support, support, support. the best part is i haven't used this journal in so long, no one will know nor care. and when i get thin again they'll just think i'm excersizing and eating right and be happy for me. it'll be great. okay here's for my stats....
Name: Erin Age:18 Height: 4'11 Weight: 184 BMI:37.2 (highest fucking yet) Lowest Weight: 102-103 Highest Weight: Current (184) Short Term Goal 1 : 160 by April Short Term Goal 2 : 140 by May Short term goal: 120 by June 1st Long term goal: 102-3 by August/September. i think i can live with that.
i want to lose 20 pounds per month. i don't care how much i have to starve to do it.
Yesterday's calorie count : 3 servings of multigrain pretzels( 7 each: 21 pretzels) = 360 calories 1/2 cup cashews = 395 Total Calories : 755
not great but will be better. I'm not going to eat anything today. I'm thinking i'll go on a 5-day fast, & i'll only drink green tea and water. maybe coffee.
wish me luck.
current mood: discontent
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